posted by Mike on Jun 26
Due to a family emergency I won’t be posting for a while. I’ll be out of town and my overwrought style analyzing chicken nuggets doesn’t feel appropriate at the moment.
I do have an amazing post coming soon (it has pictures!) but it might be a little while before I’m in the mood. Stepping away is the right move as I’ve been a little off my game lately. I hope you’ll come back to visit when I start posting again.
posted by Mike on Jun 25
I’ve been brewing my own beer over the past few several weeks and Monday it was finally ready for tasting. After confirming it did in fact look like beer, smell like beer and taste like beer I loaded the fridge up for a final week of intoxication in DC. Last night ended up being the perfect time for a beer binge.
First up was an episode of Seinfeld I had never seen before. An NYU student interviews Jerry and mistakes George for his gay partner. Needless to say hilarity ensues. I need to go through an episode list for Seinfeld, I assume I’ve seen them all but then gems like this pop up. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
At this point I had eaten dinner and enjoyed my beer but was curious about the alcohol content of the beer. For all I knew my concoction had turned into O’Doul’s (which now comes in a wonderful Amber that no one will drink either). In the name of science I sacrificed my sobriety and started pouring ‘em back.
The College World Series started and the rest of the night was spent flipping back and forth to check out this crazy series. It’s too bad I’ll miss the final game tonight. College baseball is much more unpredictable and explosions of runs happen at any time.
My main focus for the night was Wipeout. MXC is one of my all-time favorite shows so I was hoping Wipeout would capture some of the witty writing and general insanity of MXC.
That’s clearly what they’re trying to do but giving the show an actual structure kind of spoils the fun. The contestants are trying to win $50,000 but I don’t care about that; I just want to watch people fall down. Another problem is at an hour the show runs too long. Too much time is spent on each event. They need to tighten up the show to 30 minutes, run two episodes and just be done with it. The hosts, ESPN’s John Anderson and John “But Yoda, I’m not gay” Henson do a solid job but simply can’t match the zaniness MXC could offer in it’s overdubbing. I’m interested to see where they go with it and watching cocky assholes eat it on big red balls is an enjoyment MXC never provided but I’m not sure if the show will last in the long haul for me. There are only so many Tuesday nights I can drink that heavily.
posted by admin on Jun 24
I’d seen this a while ago but forgot how much I enjoyed it.
posted by Mike on Jun 24
Just when you think human imagination has hit it’s limit a genius emerges from the masses.
Fresno St. has some smart kids over there.
posted by Mike on Jun 24
I’m back, baby!
New release Tuesday! I picked up the new direct-to-DVD Futurama release, “The Beast With A Billion Backs”. I’m trying to cut back on my usual money hemorrhage but new Futurama movie? Yeah, that’s getting bought.
Since I’m only in the process of moving across the country and logical have lots of time to waste I popped it in the second I got home. Now it should be noted there are certain things in this world I cannot provide an objective opinion on because I love them way too much. Futurama is one of those things. Needless to say I loved watching new Futurama this morning.
With that said I was a little disappointed in the story. The forcing together of several separate plot elements made me cringe a few times. It really felt like they had 3 ideas and just threw them together to make a movie. But at the end of the day I am completely fine with that. In fact, please keep doing it.
The humor is pure Futurama and easily makes up for the muddled plot. If you’re a Futurama fan you’ll laugh your ass off at some of the jokes. I can’t wait to watch it again. Some of the one-liners will be working their way into my every day speech (this is why some people think I’m funny).
Another great thing about these Futurama DVD releases is the extras. Sure, some are storyboard animatics that I couldn’t care less about but most of them are hilarious (or hilarious in their absurdity). “Bender’s Big Score” had a math lecture to help understand the physics used by Professor Farnsworth. Today’s release has all the cut scenes from the Futurama video game which add up to an entire extra episode that was surprisingly funny.
If these were three episodes on their own they’d be well written and drop dead hilarious. As they are you’ll laugh most of the time and easily forgive a few coincidental plot moments. Go watch it. Now!
posted by Mike on Jun 23
The Incredible Hulk - Good action, decent plot, solid acting. Marvel having control over their own properties is making for some amazing crossover moments. Also, don’t piss off Tim Roth.
The Happening - Poorly written dialogue leads to bad acting (or maybe it’s the other way around, who cares?). The twist happens in the first 10 minutes (thank god) but plays out well with some wonderfully disturbing scenes. I can see why some people can’t get by the flaws but some of the negative reviews are clearly backlash against Shymalan for all the next-Hitchcock talk.
Get Smart - Never great, never terrible. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. Nice callbacks to the original show but solidly updated for an audience who doesn’t know Don Adams from Don Knotts. Probably wait for the DVD but a poor weekend for new releases and you’ll certainly be entertained. And you could do worse.
People often ask me if something’s worth seeing in theater and I normally have a tough time answering. The Incredible Hulk? Probably not “theater worthy” in terms of overall quality but seeing it on the big screen with surround sound and a large, responsive audience is the most enjoyable way to see the movie (not to mention the intended way of seeing it). Not sure where I’m going with this.
In my time spent at the theatre I also saw this and can’t even describe how terrible it looks.
How can you spoof movies when they haven’t come out yet?!
On the other hand no one making the movie did it for anything but the money. Since it will almost certainly turn a profit it succeeds in its primary purpose as a capitalistic endeavor. So, hey, good for them!
Frank: Look, I didn’t go to Vietnam just to have pansies like you take my freedom away from me.
Dee: You went to Vietnam in 1993 to open up a sweatshop.
Frank: And a lot of good men died in that sweatshop.
posted by Mike on Jun 19
posted by Mike on Jun 18
After the Lakers embarrassed themselves one final time the Celtics have taken the NBA Championship. Everyone cites the Celtics defense as the reason for the win but I disagree. Sure defense wins championships, blah blah blah. The Lakers averaged 94 points for the series and ESPN loves to look at the 108 the Lakers averaged in the regular season and say, “Wow, the Celtics played really hard!” That’s stupid. Regular season scoring averages factor in dropping 130 on the Nuggets balanced with averaging 92 a game against the Celtics.
That’s right. The Lakers averaged more PPG in the Finals against the Celts than in the regular season. Damn, the Lakers must have been the team playing harder! Oh wait, they lost. Maybe “playing hard” is not something you can quantify or even ever know, you fuckers.
There are three reasons the Celtics destroyed the Lakers:
(1) Everyone but Kobe disappeared.
No bullshit about guys having good games. These guys didn’t show up for 5 out 6 games and never at the same time.
(2) The Lakers Had No Defensive Scheme
Last night when the Celtics rained wide open 3 after 3 it was obvious the Lakers had no clue what they were doing as a team. Guys were helping off of Ray Allen leaving him wide open. How was that not a team rule? You don’t help off of Ray! That’s as fucking simple as it gets. I think Phil Jackson is having some power struggle with Kobe and was willing to lose the finals to prove Kobe needs him. Seriously, I actually believe this.
(3) Andrew Bynum’s Knee
There’s some talk of this now but Paul Pierce potentially being hurt in Game 1 drove me insane. The Lakers were missing their best player next to Kobe and nobody said a damn thing. The teams only rebounding and shot blocking force. Nobody on ESPN talked about this and it’s sure not like they didn’t have the time with their 18 analysts talking for 3 hours before tip-off. ESPN’s coverage of the NBA Playoffs sunk them to new analytic lows.
I’m disappointed the Lakers lost, especially the way it went down but I’m happy for the Celtics. They played better in ever way imaginable. Nice to see Garnet have a good game last night in a pressure situation. He attacked the basket and ate up the Lakers down low. Should help him shed that image of disappearing in big games.
But most of all I’m happy for myself. No more god damn basketball games running past midnight.
If you hate ESPN as much as I do check out Deadspin. They make me look like an ESPN fan.
posted by admin on Jun 17
Why isn’t there more funding put into teleportation devices?
Somebody molecularize my atoms and transport me long distances. I’m ready.
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