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posted by admin on Apr 30

Lately I’ve been losing my posting mojo. Whenever I go out of town that part of my brain turns off and it takes a while to turn back on. I also end sentences with prepositions. My grammar coach must be horrified.

I just wanted to let everyone know your efforts at funny swine flu comments on your Facebook, gchat and twitter updates are appreciated but are starting to reach critical mass. My favorite, “Are swine flu symptoms anything like herpes? If so I think I might have it.”

I love the internet.

posted by admin on Apr 23

In preparation for the new G.I. Joe movie coming this summer they’ve made about an hour long story releasing in ten five or six minute episodes on Adult Swim’s website. Check out G.I. Joe: Resolute here. Enough nods to the cheesiness of the show to keep the feel of 80’s cartoons but still takes itself very seriously.

It doesn’t seem to tie into the movie at all but exists to excite old fans about G.I. Joe. It certainly worked on me as my interest in the movie has gone from five to one hundred. Keep in mind this scale runs to one thousand.

What’s really amazing is how little I remember of the show. Aside from Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow (who have an absolutely badass story line in Resolute) and, of course, Cobra Commander I remember none of these characters and have no idea about the plot beyond Joe vs. Cobra. Shockingly, I remember the educational shorts at the end of episodes better than the show itself. I suppose my excellent safety record around fires, exposed wires and train tracks should have alerted me to this knowledge priorly.

posted by admin on Apr 22

I am tentatively obsessed with MLB ‘09′s Road to the Show mode. For those unaware, Road to the Show allows you to create a player and start a career from scratch. You only play the game situations that you are involved with directly. This works exceptionally well for baseball because the sport is more individual.

I used the qualifier tentatively because a few bizarre fielding/cut-off man glitches irk me. So far I’ve gotten past them because 20-year old starting pitcher, Mike Soucy, has only recently been moved up to Triple A and giving up an error ridden triple is probably reasonable in Double A. But if something I deem a glitch were to cost me a game or break up a no hitter rest assured my anger would suspend the game indefinitely. I would take my ball and go home.

The other reason for qualifying my adoration has actually started to suck me further down the rabbit hole. I started my career with the Dodgers as seemed reasonable given my affection for the organization. In hindsight this was probably a mistake as their major league rotation has three members younger than real life me and more talented than video game me. Their closer actually played in the same area as me in high school and was my nemesis my senior season as we battled for the area lead in strike outs. Given that he closes for the Dodgers now my humiliating defeat has been easy to come to terms with. The glut of young pitching talent led the Dodgers (video game) organization to a logical conclusion: trade me. Trade me to the Pirates. Trade me to the fucking Pirates!

The news was soul crushing. Never before has a video game impacted me so emotionally. The betrayal! I gave everything to this team and you send me to the Pirates who haven’t had a winning season in almost two decades! Suddenly players feeling disconnected, signing simply for the most money and not caring about the team makes sense. After nearly quitting the game I have a new goal: become a free agent and get the hell out of Pittsburgh. I’m likely four years away from that possibility and can’t imagine the frustration a real life player feels.

So I’m trying to balance my ardent desire of reaching the big league’s, establishing my greatness so I can sign with any team, going to LA and winning the World Series with some semblance of a functional, productive life. Fortunately, the southern Californian heat wave seems to have broken allowing my brain to work properly once again.

I do have to give props to the game for the Dodgers-Pirates trade. The Dodgers front office seems to have identified Pittsburgh as a Triple A affiliate to send all their tweener talent. That is one of my favorite aspects of sports: when a GM seems to identify another GM as gullible and continues to pull off trades until the later discovers what is going on. The video game reproduction of this is a low-hanging fruit to be enjoyed by all.

Speaking of video games, the newest Penny Arcade comic is deliciously dark and hilarious. Just know your laughter and tears sustain their nefarious powers.

Also, no new Lost tonight. What? On the plus side I could still do a Podcast about last weeks episode and be hopelessly out of date only in Internet time.

posted by admin on Apr 14

I know a few people have asked me about this but I have finally figured out how to have guests on my Podcast over the phone.

Using Skype, well, how you normally use Skype you can record Skype conversations with a variety of different software programs. Your choices are much greater on the PC but since I’m on a Mac I can only tell you I’ve been using Audio Hijack Pro and it seems to work very well. I already called me friend Andrew on his cell and left him a lovely message while he’s stuck late at work.

I’ve pretty much got this figured out now so barring any unsuspected setbacks as soon as this weekend I could be calling someone to see if they’re interested in joining me on a Podcast. I know Jay and I went for about an hour but I think I would generally like to keep them around 30 minutes possibly shorter depending on the topic. I mainly want to keep them shorter because I realize I’m still learning how to do this, don’t put much research in and am probably a lesser option in the Podcast world right now. I figure for now shorter will get more people listening and then I can worry about world domination.

My next goal for this is to figure out live streaming so during big events (i.e. NFL Draft) I could call several people and see how that goes.

Anyway, if you have your own site and would be interested in promoting while talking to me I will gladly play the naive fanboy to your internet greatness. If you just think it’d be fun that is awesome too. Either way drop me an e-mail or post a comment and we can figure something out.

Slow weak for posting as I finish up a couple projects and head out of town Thursday. Maybe that will motivate me to actually do my Lost podcast on Thursday morning instead of the increasingly regular Friday afternoon.

posted by admin on Apr 14

I think the Bruins are good this year.

Alexander Ovechkin had that awkward video with Lebron.

Colorado just fired their coach so they probably aren’t winning it all.

Playoffs start tomorrow apparently. Enjoy!

posted by admin on Apr 11

To make amends for my Lost podcast malfunction I went to go see Fast & Furious last night and returned home to make a podcast about my cinematic experience. More importantly for the first time ever I have a very special guest star so you don’t have to listen to just me.

Listen to our drunken experiment.

posted by admin on Apr 10

Here is another late Podcast. It’s about Lost theory. Enjoy.

I think it’s a little over 15 minutes.

UPDATE: Still not working. Trying to figure out what went wrong. I’ll see if I can get it up later. Sorry.

posted by admin on Apr 9

Last night’s episode of Lost was definitely one of the my favorites so far this season. And unlike last week’s episode “Whatever Happened, Happened” I am not inclined to give much credence to the title “Dead Is Dead”. Why? Because it’s a Ben episode, the title is taken from dialogue spoked by Ben and we all know Ben is a liar. Now my inclination towards Ben and Locke episodes certainly predisposed me to enjoying it but we learned quite a bit of Island history, Island mythology and several important character traits.

My favorite part of the episode (and possibly the show) is listening to Ben talk. Looking across message boards this morning people are formulating and disproving theories using some of Ben’s dialogue from last night. Well, if last night taught us anything it’s NEVER believe anything Benjamin Linus says. We saw several of his out and out lies but more importantly we can attempt to sift through his bullshit to find some form of the truth.

What I believed:
Ben suspected Locke would be resurrected by the Island.
Ben cannot control Smokey.
Ben feels great remorse over his daughter.

What I did not believe:
Ben wanted Locke resurrected. Given his daughter’s statements this becomes pretty clear.
Ben wanted to be judged.
Ben did not know the other survivors were in The Dharma Initiative.

Some of these things I believed or did not believe based on miniscule evidence and some I just want to believe but Ben continues to be a lightning rod of drama. I also believe Ben, at the moment he said it, intends to follow John Locke but does anyone really believe that will last very long? This episode did give a glimpse of humanity in Ben as he seems to have a soft spot for new mothers likely because of his own mothers death but can Ben ever really change? Richard’s speech about his lost innocence seems to condemn Ben to the manipulative asshole role for life but perhaps another trip down Smoke Monster way will make Ben a loyal member of the John Locke Island Initiative.

Speaking of John Locke, how badass was he last night? Comparing him to Jack last week it really stands out how poorly Jack is handling his laid back approach to the Island. But Locke showed some interesting signs last night. Primarily, he seems to be turning into Benjamin Linus. He really enjoyed knowing more about the Island then Ben and was overtly smug about the matter. Now maybe he was just sticking it to Ben but I see something different at work. Locke’s example for Island leader was Ben so that’s who he is emulating in his quest to lead. Likewise Ben’s example was Charles Widmore and just as Widmore left the Island and used it for personally gain well, all those passports, fancy suits and drawers of cash seem to indicate Ben fell into the same trap as his predecessor. Interesting to see if Locke continues down this path.

Two other huge moments: Desmond/Penny & Illana/Cesar.

Ben shot Desmond. Desmond returns with a vengeance and we finally find out what happened to Ben before boarding the plane. But shouldn’t have Desmond been down for the count? Did the Island heal him? Then it would seem the Island is not done with Desmond Hume. Will he return to the Island to finish Ben off in order to protect his family? Will we get a Desmond episode before the season is out? My prediction: April 29th the episode titled “The Variable”. We learn an awful lot about the man, to quote Daniel Farady, “the rules don’t apply to.”

Illana and her merry band of thugs. They’ve seemingly been to the Island before. Were they sent by Widmore or is there a new force on Lost? How did they know to be on the flight?

Is Cesar really dead? I think we can expect another resurrection. Why? The show’s spent too much time on him.

Next week we get a Miles episode and maybe finally find out why he can talk to the dead. Only four more weeks left this season. It’s going to be a long summer and fall waiting for the final season.

Podcast coming later today where I’ll spend time talking more about last night’s implications on the series as a whole and my own personal theories on where we might be headed!

posted by admin on Apr 8

I, actually, saw Adventureland last Friday but wanted to wait to write a review because I needed some time to see how long the film stayed with me.

The trailer leads you to believe the film will be similar in some way to Superbad and while the film does contain mistimed erections, urinating on windows, the usual drunk/high escapades of people in their early twenties the film skews significantly more dramatic then Superbad making comparisons irrelevant. This isn’t the only way the films promotion hurts itself.

If you wanted to compare it to another recent film it would have be Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist. Both films deal with honest, problematic young love but as Adventureland’s characters run a little older the problems tend to be more serious.

Jesse Eisenberg plays plays James Brennan a recent college grad who’s parents sudden financial troubles derail his plans to spend the summer in Europe and return to Columbia grad school in the fall. Discovering his literature degree provides no real world skills he is forced to take a summer job at the local amusement park. Much of the film, thematically and plot, revolve around James being a virgin. When he falls for Em (Kristen Stewart) who is, shall we say, more experienced problems ensue for them both. But not the problems you might think. The film wisely ignores any American Pie-style jokes in James’ quest to lose his virginity but uses it to symbolize the barriers of experience and expectations that hold the two apart.

Em is confronted with her own self-destructive behavior. She drinks heavily to forget her father and step-mother, the latter vocalizing her displeasure with Em often and harshly. While her father never says anything cruel to her the look on his face in one scene is much harsher then any words could be as it clearly says, “I know this is wrong but I will never apologize for putting my happiness before yours.” She leaves this broken home to sleep with a married man, Ryan Reynolds, several nights a week possibly to gain the love of an older man because of her father issues but also to avoid commitment and potential loss.

James appears better outwardly but his inner torment is apparent as he battles insecurity, naivete and a lack of self-knowledge. To say he is impressionable is a bit of an understatement as most of his actions are motivated from outside. Even the joints he so frequently shares with his new friends were a gift from his old roommate and not something he obtained of his own volition.

Comedically Bill Hader, Kristen Wiig and Matt Bush steal the movie. I’m sure the first two you know but Matt Bush you probably are most familiar with from his roll in the AT&T commercials where his mother yells at him for trying to sell their rollover minutes. He plays an old friend of James that James generally views as beneath him but Matt provides such a manic energy in nut-punching, head-band wearing loyalty you can’t help but like him. Expect to see him in larger comedic rolls in the near future.

The film is very independent in spirit as it explores a young man and woman discovering who they are and how they will define themselves. Having time to reflect on the film has improved my opinion of it greatly because it is a deep film masquerading as an upfront comedy. My one hesitation of recommending it to everyone is it falls into the trap of being a film about a young writer. As such, any writer and most critics will identify very strong with the protagonist and appreciate the film in a much more meaningful way then the average audience (see also: Sideways, Adaptation). The film is very good and highly enjoyable but anyone expecting a Superbad style comedy need not apply. And unfortunately that’s the shadow the film exists in.

posted by admin on Apr 5

Decent first game, terrible second game. UNC looks very, very good but Michigan St. keeps beating teams with more talent through defense, efficient offense, timely shot making and superior coaching/preparation. I think Monday should be a helluva game.

Before the games started I parlayed Michigan St. at +4.5 with UNC at -7. Yes, I am very smart but it also explains some of my comments during the games. All times are west coast. I’ll try to include all spelling and grammar mistakes particularly as I become drunker.

1:48 PM - Thabeet needs to take the tags off his hat. Has there ever been a Final Four with a team like UCONN? With their recruiting scandal is it possible they could win it all and then have the championship stripped a few months later? Would the NCAA ever let this happen? If UCONN wins it all look for this investigation to disappear.

1:51 PM - I’m already regretting turning this on so early. Seventy minutes ’til tip-off.

1:52 PM - First beer. Sweetwater 420.

1:55 PM - How long before CBS removes that “Connecticut Blows Sparty” sign?

2:05 PM - The sign has been removed. CBS on their A-game tonight.

2:07 PM - Eminem coming up to talk about Detroit? Time to change the channel. HBO2 has a Land Before Time marathon today. II on now, III next and then they just skip IV and go right to V? Is IV that bad?

2:17 PM - Self and Griffin just mirrored my parlay. Is that good or bad?

2:50 PM - Beers #2 and #3. It’s a big glass. Sierra Nevada Torpedo. Eating homemade fries.

2:54 PM - I hate these stupid hidden camera commercials. Just saw the one where the guy gives out popsicles with no sticks. Isn’t it funny to lie to people! “You want a popsicle little boy? How about a kick in the groin instead!” Notice they edit out the inevitable little kids balling their eyes out.

3:09 PM - Tip-off. Talking to my Mom on the phone, I really need/want Michigan St. to win, my Mom doesn’t care.

3:19 PM - Michigan St. looks much better. Getting very easy shots.

3:21 PM - Bathroom trip #1.

3:25 PM - Why do networks use this birds eye view cam? It cuts off part of the court and makes it impossible to see what the hell is going on. The standard shot that is used for 98% of the game is the best, why would you ever cut away from that?

3:30 PM - Car commercial with Howie Long is making me start to question how much of my life has been spent looking at/listening to Howie Long. Over a hundred hours? Is that acceptable in any way?

3:34 PM - UCONN’s size might take control.

3:41 PM - Are these Coke/Coke Zero commercials the equivalent of the Dodgers playing Andruw Jones last July? Everyone sees how bad they are but someone refuses to admit the expensive mistake so they just keep trotting him out there to strike out five times a game? (Editor’s Note: Sorry for the pronoun confusion.)

3:45 PM - UCONN is going to win but Tom Izzo spastically waving his team down the court? How do you not root for this team?

3:49 PM - Bathroom trip #2.

3:53 PM - I believe in Michigan St. Eating a quesadilla. Beer #4. Sweetwater 420.

3:57 PM - UCONN trying to start a fight? How stupid are they? This is the problem with basketball now, no one knows how to play tough and not be a little bitch about it. That foul was nothing in today’s game never mind what guys used to do in the 80’s and early 90’s.

4:00 PM - Now the refs make a stupid take control of the game foul call. Must be an ACC crew.

4:02 PM - How is Thabeet getting so many calls? He’s the biggest guy out there and he’s drawing touch fouls? I see his ceiling as solid NBA back-up. Ideally, for the Rockets.

4:07 PM - St. up 2 at the half. Feeling good. Hate the d’bag in the St. student section wearing sunglasses. You’re inside, take off the glasses Corey Hart.

4:13 PM - What’s with the bumblebee trim at the Ford Center?

4:16 PM - Was that woman interviewing Griffin and Self pregnant?! How do you not mention that?

4:25 PM - This Heineken commercial with the walk-in fridge is phenomenal. Too bad I can’t drink Heineken because it makes my poop smell like Heineken the next day.

4:30 PM - Mistake for UCONN to go small.

4:32 PM - Beer #5. Cable Car Small Batch Lager.

4:33 PM - Michigan St. +4 since UCONN went small. Bathroom trip #3. UCONN’s brought in another big guy.

4:45 PM - How is Thabeet not dominating this game? He is huge.

4:54 PM - Really Jim Nantz and Clark Kellogg? Calhoun is clean? Have you ever met anyone from Connecticut?

4:58 PM - Bathroom trip #4. Did you know there’s an all-new Mentalist on Tuesday?

5:04 PM - Is this an ACC crew? These foul calls are egregious! Also, Vitamin Water! Michigan St. is a very good TEAM, they could beat UNC. With all these commercials acknowledging the economic crisis has America gone post-post-post Modern? Are we just too hyper aware of ourselves?

Editor’s note: I think we can safely say I just crossed into drunk territory.

5:05 PM - Is it wrong that when I see Magic’s wife all I can think about is whether or not she has HIV? Do they have sex? How? Am I terrible person?

5:06 PM - Three amazing plays from Summer now. Rebound, dunk, and a tipped ball where he jumps through the roof.

5:12 PM - Dunk! Game over, huge for me. My bracket turns out pretty decent.

5:15 PM - Bathroom trip #5.

5:22 PM - Beer #6.

5:35 PM - Michigan St. wins!

6:00 PM - Bathroom trip #6.

6:09 PM - CBS has the Masters next week!

6:13 PM - How has this game not tipped off yet? This is unacceptable! 40 minutes? Why?! Fuck you, CBS.

6:20 PM - Wake Forest beat UNC. Just saying. Editor’s Note: Please no comments.

6:20 PM - God I hate Roy Williams.

6:22 PM - Tip-off. Oh, right there’s a second game!

6:25 PM - Beer #7

6:28 - UNC will win. Hansbrough’s getting his usual ACC calls.

6:30 PM - Pizza time! Did you know Terminator: Salvation comes out May 21st? This style of joke will never get old!

6:35 PM - Game over, UNC’s going to win it all. Spring training Dodger game starts in 30 minutes. Might switch.

6:39 PM - Until this game ends I am in first place in my Tourney Pool! I am living the dream!

6:41 PM - Wow, UNC is rolling. I hope the whole team leaves for the draft.

6:46 PM - UNC is the best team in the country. How did they lose to Wake Forest?

6:51 PM - Bathroom trip #7. On par with the beers, weird.

6:56 PM - UNC up 17 I think this live journal is done.

7:02 PM - Jim Nantz knows nothing about basketball.

7:15 PM - Bathroom #8.

7:40 PM - Bathroom #9. I am old.

7:51 PM - Fuck Clark Kellog & Fuck Cleveland St.

And there you have it! It was fun until I started getting drunk and UNC killed ‘Nova then writing down anything became work. Impressions? Not sure if I’ll do that again but it was interesting to try!